January 31

It's 1 0'clock.
I've been fasting 18 hours.
I don't know how much longer I am going to do it.
I'm so tired of gaining weight.
Actually, I've lost weight but I guess mentally I just feel like I've gained 400 pounds.
Anyways, I'm going out in a little while for some coffee and to shop for a new top and a new water bottle. They help me drink water all day and not eat!

I'll update tonight and tell you how my fasting day went.

January 26

I just took four laxatives...for no reason.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I can't afford to keep consuming 300,000 calories every day.
I made a pact with myself today to go to the library every day after school and sit there and do my homework until 6:30.
Then come home, shower and hop into bed.
It sounds like it may work.
First day tomorrow.

January 24

Everything is just completely fucked lately.
Everything and everyone.
I need stability.
Tomorrow tomorrow and tomorrow.

January 23

These days I'm just barely making it.
and when you think you have nothing to live for,
it's really hard to wake up.
I need to see results soon.
I need to slowly start disappearing.

January 19

Mark this in your books.
January 19.
I am changed.
My life will never be the same.
Come this time next year.
I will be perfect.
Watch me.

January 18

Bad day today.
and I was doing so well...*sigh*
square one again tomorrow.
homework, work, homework, work, homework, work.
food just does not fit into my schedule...so I don't know how it's working itself in.
I'll fix this. I guess I just need more things to occupy my time with.

I'll update tomorrow if I don't throw my body in front of a speeding car.
Let me know how your days are going.
Stay Strong.

January 15

So, I sucked on a few peppermints at work today. I'm not sure how many calories are usually in peppermints but I'll just say intake for today was around 100 calories.
My back hurts really really bad, and I'm sleepy.
But I need to stop complaining so much.
I work 12-4 tomorrow so I'm hoping maybe I can fast tomorrow or at least keep it under 800 calories. I haven't eaten much in the last few days and I'm feeling weak but..I like it, and I know that's weird.
Anyways, I'm going to sleep now. I'll update tomorrow.

January 14

I didn't have any intake yesterday so, I guess I kind of have to eat something today.
I'm about to eat a SoyJoy bar (140 calories)
I'm hoping this will keep me for a day and then maybe I'll just have something else.
Anyways, today has been a productive day.
I still have my lab write up to finish and some extra credit to do but all is okay so far.
Tomorrow is also my first day of work at 4:30! I am so nervous..but I know I can do it.
It'll keep my mind off food for a good 4 hours.

I hope all of you girls are doing okay.

January 13

0 calorie day.
finally, in such a long time.
I feel really good.
Tomorrow I'm going to fast again, which shouldn't be hard considering the amount of homework we are currently getting is increasing steeply so, I should be okay with keeping myself occupied.

Anyways, today was a good day...except for when I left my scarf at Starbucks, which sucked.
And tomorrow will be a good day too because I wont let myself down.
I'll update tomorrow (:
Think thin and keep me updated!

January 10

So, I finally got my job at Ann Taylor, and I am extremely excited and glad I am finally going to be able to do something with my days instead of just laying around and sleeping or EATING as usual. It'll keep my mind off of food and I wont be able to eat so THERE.
Take that stupid fat self.

That's all for today mostly.
I've been doing okay.
Still haven't weighed myself I really don't want to unless I compete another 4 day fast.
I really hope I can start work tomorrow or Wednesday even because I would feel so relieved.

Keep me updated girls.
Think thin.

January 8

Today was bad.
Not too bad, but it was like, 800 calories today.
Which is the max, which I don't ever want to hit.
Anyways, tomorrow will be better.
I have to see 170 soon.

January 7

"I've started wondering about life again.
If any of it's, really worth it.
One day, I'll just slip away, and then I'll be...
gone."

I want to feel myself getting thinner.
I want to be skinny like never before in my life.
This is going to happen because it's all up to ME and I wont let myself screw it up.
Tomorrow is a fasting day.
I'll tell you how it goes.

January 6

I know I haven't posted in AGES but I just made it back home from break and all sorts of junk.
I just wanted to update that I'm starting my new diet plan tomorrow.
800 calories or less everyday.
I've been doing good.
I've been losing weight.
I don't know what my weight is right now but I'm not going to weigh myself until my jeans fall off at the hips so I'll update my weight in about a week or two.

Anyways, besides that I don't know what to say.
How have YOU girls been doing?
Keep me updated. I love talking to you guys and I need motivation to start the new year!