February 23

I haven't updated and I don't want to know my weight.
About Three nights ago I ate a salad when I went out with my mom and I came home that night to find the scale saying I gained back 4 pounds. 4 FUCKING POUNDS.
And that pissed me off so much.
I worked my ASS off and the scale tells me I gain 4 fucking pounds back in ONE day for eating a fucking salad?
IT TOOK ME 4 DAYS TO LOSE THOSE 4 POUNDS WITH EATING UNDER 500 CALORIES A DAY.
I don't know what to say...I gave up and I've just been...acting like whatever the past few days.
Tomorrow is tomorrow is tomorrow and I guess I can start over.
I have to start over because it's no longer a choice, it's something I have to do even if it makes me cry, even if I hate it, even if it makes me want to die some days. I have no control over it.
It controls me...and tomorrow I need to start controlling it.

I don't know when I'll update my weight again.
Maybe after a few good days I'll get the guts to step on the scale.
I wont cry...