September 30

So, yesterday didn't go as planned. I was feeling a bit weak all day so I just decided to stop at 24 hours again and eat my small meal. It was a tiny bit bigger than usual but that's only because I am going to start off with a two day fast. It will end tomorrow at 8:30 p.m. I can't just push myself into a three day fast, I have to be careful to steadily put myself through those days.

One major problem I have been having though, is whenever I eat my small meal after my 24 hour fasts, I always feel like such a huge failure/pig/fuck-up. I mean, inside my head something is telling me "Just eat! You know that not eating is screwing with your body, so just eat something," But at the same time, my heart seems to be saying "Just go for a few more hours until bed, then you can wake up tomorrow and go to classes. It'll be so easy to forget about eating because you always have to make sure everything is perfect, your homework, your hair, your make up....so you won't even have time for food."

Most of the time I listen to my heart. My head just isn't loud enough.

What am I going to do today? Well, after I finish this post I am going to head on over to Starbucks to grab me my morning cup of joe and then I am going to head over to the post office to mail a package off to my best friend because it is almost her birthday. I'm excited about that, I love mailing things off, and I love people being surprised when they get things in the mail.

After all that is done, I'll just come back home and start in on all the midterm studying again, and all the homework. I'm hoping things will stick easily in my head.

Anyway, I hope you girls are doing okay. Any of you starting any new diets or have any parties, birthdays or anything coming up? What are you guys planning to be for halloween??