August 12

This morning I had two, count them, TWO, big, gigantic, enormous, colossal bowls of spaghetti topped high with cheese. What was I thinking? That I wanted to end my life and die from a heart attack caused by the shock of eating so much food. It didn't work.

I don't know what has gotten into me but today will be my first day back at the gym since I moved here. I'm planning on going every day even if it kills me. It's just sad that I had to resort to someone pushing me out of my fucking room to get me there. I know I will want to go back once I'm done with my first day. It's just the first step that's always the hardest, right? I've just been feeling like there is no way out of this cycle I am currently in but there is a tiny light right now. Something that will help me regain composure, control.

Sorry my eats haven't been up. It's just either that I haven't been eating, or I've been binging like crazy. I'll get through this.