Friday, July 23, 2010

July 23

Breakfast eats:

A big bowl filled with a minuscule amount of fat-free yogurt, bordered with five raspberries and with a few Grapenuts strewn on the side. Oh, and my wonderful cup of green tea. It was a mighty fine way to start my day if I do say so myself.

I don't want to talk about what I did to my body afterwards. All you have to know is I went to the movies and opted for a hotdog and then some chocolate and popcorn and....FUCK. I don't understand why I can't control myself lately. I use to be able to go for days and days without solids but...I just need to gain control back. CONTROL. My life is spinning and I can't take hold of anything lately. School. Food. My house is a mess.

Tomorrow I will start out with a good breakfast eat and then no more food until....well, dinner probably. I need to learn to control when I eat before I can start controlling WHAT I eat.

I guess tonight I'm just going to wallow a bit in pity and disgust and wait until sleep comes so I can start over tomorrow. I need motivation to kick me in the ass before I explode to 900 pounds. I'll update tomorrow, stay strong. Some motivational thoughts sent my way would be nice. Night.

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