September 6

I don't really have a whole lot to say today. It's been going pretty slow over here in my little nook of the world. The days seem to be getting longer as I yearn for time to pass quickly so I can be on my way into my new life; but as we all find out, heartbreakingly, time goes the slowest when we so desperately need it to flee.

As far as eating goes I've been restricting again. I wish I could just eat sometimes and deal with the fact that my body, this body I have, craves and needs nutrients in order to keep on. But I can't. And I probably never will. I don't want it to eat until it decides to let me be beautiful. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, as they say.

I think I'm going to leave this post as it is, I don't want to bombard you lovely readers with my nonsense and self loathing tonight because I do feel really terrible tonight. One of those, "I want to die" nights.

I do have a question though, do any of you have any weird eating habits? Like me for instance, I watch television when I eat because I always stop eating during commercials to make sure that I have self control and that I could stop eating if I wanted. Do any of you guys only eat certain foods or stay away from certain foods or have a weird obsessive compulsive thing as I do?

Stay strong.