Tuesday, February 9, 2010

February 9

So, today was terrible.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
I just think it would be so much easier if I lived on my own and could only buy the things I needed and leave it at that.
I ate so much.
I weigh 218 pounds.
My weight has steadily crept up on me and I will not let myself ever reach 258 pounds ever EVER again. Tomorrow is day one like it always is.
800 calories or less.
I miss my water bottle I don't know where it went.
I need control back.
I need to stop taking so many laxatives that don't work.
I need to stop myself from eating even when I'm NOT HUNGRY.
Please, give me some tips if you have them girls...I'm slowly dying and I know I can do this if I want it enough, but I just don't know how to restart and get myself out of this binge/purge hole.

1 comment:

  1. I keep eating when im not hungry and i tried couting to 100 before eating something but it didnt work so ive started couting to 1000 and half of the time i cbf to count all the way to 1000 and just walk off
    orr you could do what i do when i realy crave somehting fatty i make it smell it, have one bite then cover it in washing up liquid/salt so that its disgusting/unedible
    hope this helps :)