So, today was terrible.
I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
I just think it would be so much easier if I lived on my own and could only buy the things I needed and leave it at that.
I ate so much.
I weigh 218 pounds.
My weight has steadily crept up on me and I will not let myself ever reach 258 pounds ever EVER again. Tomorrow is day one like it always is.
800 calories or less.
I miss my water bottle I don't know where it went.
I need control back.
I need to stop taking so many laxatives that don't work.
I need to stop myself from eating even when I'm NOT HUNGRY.
Please, give me some tips if you have them girls...I'm slowly dying and I know I can do this if I want it enough, but I just don't know how to restart and get myself out of this binge/purge hole.