Tuesday, August 10, 2010

August 10

I've been going through so many up and downs the past couple of days that I have no idea how I am not already pulling out my hair and admitting that I am crazy because that's how I feel. Regardless though, I know I should be keeping up to date on my blog. I mean, without this I would be nothing but a bundle of self hatred with no way to vent and I have to be careful that I don't keep everything bottled inside or else I'll go back to restricting calories to absolute nothing. Anyway, here is basically what I've eaten the last couple of days:

A bowl of strawberries zapped in the microwave with a bagel thin filled with fat free cream cheese and some coffee.

I'd tell you guys that everything is fine and that I'm doing better, but I'm not. I'm never doing better. Fuck. I wish I could be happier so I could cue you guys in on things like my love life and my social life; but I really am just a fucked up, introverted, high matinence girl who is always anxious and analyzing everything inside her head. I'm sorry.
I did go to the store to stock up on more bars today. I acquired some Clif and Luna bars. I pretty much get all my calories from bars throughout the day. The only real food I eat is for breakfast and is mostly a carb with some type of fruit and a little protein powder. The rest of the day it's just me and my bars. Anyway, the rest of my night is going to be filled with Big Bang Theory re-runs and maybe some coffee. I'll update tomorrow, promise. Stay strong.

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