Monday, August 23, 2010

August 23

I've kind of been restricting full force lately. As of 5 p.m. yesterday evening I haven't had solid food except for coffee. When my restricting comes back full force like this, I know I am in for a ride. I realize this is all probably because of stress and anxiety, but at the same time I want to be able to control my intake to at least 500 calories a day, but sometimes my body just makes my mind block out food. Ack, I mean, whatever it's good because I do need to lose some major pounds, but I really need to look out for myself sometimes because restricting just comes naturally and when it comes back to me it is not good. I remember I went five days without food and lost about 15 pounds and that was the most scared I had ever been. I thought I was for sure going to blow right back up after I started eating again.

ANYWAY, to divert from that topic, I now have all my class books (with some on the way because they had to be ordered) and I have found where all my classes will be so I will not be too frightened about classes starting Wednesday. Am I excited? A little. Am I nervous? Yes. Do I have anxiety? Yes. Do I want to meet new people? Kind of, sort of, a little? My class days wont finish until 5:30 p.m. so I wont be home until well after 6:00 p.m. and I don't know. I just hope that everything works out and that I can get a good study system going so I can feel comfortable and no scared to death that I will fail. Ah well. Only time will tell I guess.

Anyway, how are things going with you girls? Anything new you would like to tell me about? Be it eats or boys or home or friends etc etc., I'm all ears.

1 comment:

  1. I know what its like to restrict - when I first started university I just wasn't hungry at all. Food made me feel sick so I only ate tiny amounts and lost heaps of weight. My friends and family were heaps worried but with stress and anxiety, its hard to feel like eating.
    Don't worry about failing (its hard not to, I know), but as long as you are organised with your time things will work out fine. Have a great day!