Tuesday, August 3, 2010

August 3

Where is the line drawn between Anorexia and Compulsive eating? These binges are starting to blur my thought process and I really cannot tell the difference between my behaviours anymore. Yes, I have an eating disorder. Yes, I am a compulsive eater when I binge. Yes, I restrict. Yes, I starve. Fine lines, people. That is all I have been tiptoeing on for the past year of my life. Fine lines, and they are starting to blur.

Eats today:
A serving of Fiber One with a diced up nectarine and a serving of yogurt. With a side of coffee of course.

The weight of all my anxiety is sitting on my chest, clawing and tearing away at my flesh and I know sooner rather than later it is going to cave and I am not going to be able to fight it. Something has got to give, right? I mean, nothing can stay this terrible forever, right? I keep trying to convince myself it seems. I keep trying to make things better for myself, but where am I getting? Who is caring? Anxiety is a monster. I am always nervous. I am always hungry. I will always be waiting for something better.


  1. i love this post.i understand every word of this post.
    you basically described all my thoughts in this post.
    stay lovely
    ♥ idil

  2. We're all waiting forsth better. I hope we'll find it. xx